Five Minute Friday- The Truth About Me

It’s Five Minute Friday, in which I typically bring you inspiring poetry (mostly) written in 5 minutes.  Today is different though.  This is what Lisa Jo wanted us to write about today: “So our word for Five Minute Friday this week? Let’s make it: TRUE. Because I need your true stories. Just like I hope you need mine. ”  Click the word true to read other people’s “truths” today!

 

Everything I write here at We Live Inspired is true, but I try to bring you the positive sides of life and how I create a Joy-FULL, happy existence, so that you too can live joy filled..right where you are at in life.

 

With that being said, I don’t “complain” much about what life can really be like for me at times.  I truly am happy in life now (even though I still am a big work in progress), but it has not been an easy road.  Not at all.  I still have many things going on in my life that could steal my joy, but I CHOOSE to focus on the blessings and miracles instead.  I choose to CREATE the life I want to live.  Hence the fact that this website is filled with uplifting content.

 

There isn’t time to share every little thing I deal with or have dealt with in life here in 5 min., and I personally believe that we all have the right to keep some things sacred.  However, on the topic of true I will do my best to share what life can look like for me at times.  I feel like it’s going to sound like a complain fest, but maybe it will inspire you to know the person behind a site dedicated to inspired living struggles much herself.  So here goes my 5 min. of TRUE:

 

 

Go

 

For like at least a decade (longer actually), I have dealt with many non life threatening little health issues that seem to change or come and go.  Some are pretty scary.  The most recent one (which is getting better now) has been TERRIBLE vertigo spells.  I have actually had this benign positional vertigo thing for like a decade, but it typically only would spring up once a year and last 4 days tops.   The last spell I had started the day after Thanksgiving of 2012.  It was extremely severe to where I was not able to do anything for at least a week or two.

 

I was SUPER exhausted and I had to pretty much sleep and lay in bed all the time.  I got nothing done.  I woke up twice ( a couple weeks apart) feeling like my eyeballs were spinning around in my head, because when I opened my eyes I could not focus on ANYTHING.  It was very scary, but it went away after 5-10 min.

 

Even after the worst of it went away and I was able to be out of bed more , I dealt with it in other ways.  Every single day when I would wake up , for a 3 month period straight, the room would spin upon sitting up and I would feel like I had to lie right back down.  I ended up having to very slowly (think snail) inch my way up in increments until it stopped.  Then I would go about my day.  This same process repeated itself every single night when I laid my head down to sleep.  The room would spin upon laying my head on the pillow and I would feel like I was falling in to nothing.  It would stop eventually…I just had to wait patiently.  Not gonna lie- it sucked.  It caused me to become depressed after awhile (yet I still kept blogging inspirational stuff..but you may have noticed more God based articles then, as that was what kept me going when I literally could do nothing else).  

 

 

For the most part (aside from being so exhausted), I was doing semi ok while up, but some days I would have sudden very scary vertigo attacks.  I would feel like I had to vomit, and then start sweating and then the room would spin and I would have to drop all I was doing and get straight to bed again.

 

You may have noticed I was blogging less frequently.  If I was behind on emails, or blog obligations, or anything else…this is why.  I am mostly back to normal now, but I have to be mindful to get lots of rest, or it sneaks back.

 

Other “truths”:

1. I have had crippling knee pain flare ups that have caused me to be mostly bed (or chair ridden) for up to a week at a time.  These used to happen 1-2x a year every year.  I haven’t had those now for a couple of years because I figured out how to stop them before they really start).
2. 2 summers ago I got a bad case of sciatica.  I was bedridden then too.  2 months of terrible pain where I could not move my back well and sitting and getting up from sitting was very difficult.  Luckily- this has not come back.  I spent the majority of that summer in my bedroom.
3. I am a chronic insomniac.  Have had it like 10 years or  more.  It varies as to how it shows up.  Some nights I get to sleep easily, but just wake every 2 hours.  Other nights I can’t fall asleep until 8 am or even 10 am (thank God this doesn’t happen all the time!) and I feel sick all the next day.  However, I have many tools I use to help me get to sleep and they eventually work if I just say “eh, whatever..I will fall asleep when I fall asleep”.

 

I have had a WONDERFUL life, but have also been through many traumatic things.  From having my life threatened (by some convict who went on to phone stalk me for like 6+ years), to having lost my best friend to brain cancer when we were young teens, to having many other loved ones die to cancer, to being ganged up on or bullied, and other things I can’t discuss.  Most of my traumas happened in late teens and early adulthood.  I was blessed with a wonderful, nurturing childhood (although we moved a lot).

 

In my adult years, I have known what it is like to be put down.  To have people pound in to your head that you cannot do things.  That you won’t succeed.  That you basically don’t have a hope and a future (contrary to what the bible says on this matter).  I also realize this is not how these people really feel..it is a mere projection of their own fears and insecurities.  I know what it is like to feel like a disappointment.  A burden (especially when others talk or act in ways that contribute to this feeling).

I have also known what loneliness feels like.  And I know what it feels like to have once been “perfect” in people’s eyes, and to no longer be.  I know what judgement feels like (even my own self judgement).  And I know what it feels like to be utterly terrified.  These things have taught me how to be a better cheerleader to myself and how to love myself unconditionally now, which I am grateful for!

 

 

BUT , I also know what it feels like to come from a loving family, to have people believe in you, to have people love you unconditionally, and be there for you.  I know what it feels like to be hugged, and kissed, and loved, and cherished.  I know what the thrill of success feels like!! I don’t even like sharing all I have been through or deal with, because it makes me feel like I am being ungrateful for all that I have.  I may not always have it easy, but I am BLESSED beyond measure and there are others out there who have had it worse.  I have a positive attitude and find pleasure in the simplest of things, so in my mind I haven’t have it that bad (yet in writing out some of what I deal with now, It makes me realize that I must be stronger than I sometimes feel.)

 

So those are some of my “truths” , as far as if you want to know more of the whole me (including the negatives), and not just the perky, bubbly , can do so many talented things me (that you are used to seeing)-who probably makes it look like it is always easy to live inspired 🙂  I really don’t even feel comfortable sharing (as I am so grateful for everything I have) , but since today is about truth..maybe I can help someone out there to be more inspired by seeing that it isn’t all peachy for me all the time.

 

 

 

I am truly happy in life, but I am happy because of my choices and because I work hard at it.  Not because I am one of the lucky ones who has the perfect health, and the perfect , easy life.  If you have been through any of these things (or more) , I want to encourage you that you can live inspired too!  Even if you can’t get out of bed some days like how it can be for me at times , and even if you feel sad, lonely, scared, hurt, tired, or any other feeling you feel that you keep to yourself as you put on that brave face out there-

 

You can write your own story and CREATE wonderful things by what you choose to focus on.  You have a stronger, more resilient spirit than you ever imagined!!  If you need support, I am in your corner.  Just picture me there rooting for you!  We are all in this together…

 

Love to you all, 

Rebekah

 

(and I think that was more than 5 min. but what can a girl do when told to divulge her “truths” ? 😉 )

Will you step out and be bold today?  What “truths” do you sometimes deal with that give you extra challenges in life?