If you missed part 1 of this story , you can click HERE to read that and catch up to speed. This is a continuation of one of the life lessons I’ve learned on trusting God’s plan and that His plan is GOOD, even when it doesn’t make sense at the time. My home story is my favorite story and testimony out of everything God has done for me, because it’s really where I got to see what God had planned for me when I came “out the other side” of some of the trials I have been through. Back to the story then…
We last left off where God showed me a scene in a dream and urged me to act by calling a realtor on the house that I thought would be ours. I obeyed and nervously (but excitedly) called a realtor that very day. This was a big leap of faith and step out of my comfort zone. I was taking the first (big) action towards my future. It was a hotter than heck day and I can remember having to talk myself in to going over there to meet with the realtor because I almost backed out of doing it. I used to deal with anxiety more in those days, but I made myself do it because I was on a mission .
I fell in love with the large open living rooms, and there were many things the house had that were on my dream list. A screened in porch room, fireplace, window seats, etc. I knew the elderly couple who used to live there. The lady was an artist like myself. I was sold on the idea of this house and we made an offer on it for ironically, the exact dollar amount that was given to me in that dream. Matt and I left the appointment with the realtor, pretty sure that this was our new home. How exciting! Except it wasn’t…
It’s All Downhill From Here…
We get a call from the realtor (who had originally told us there were no offers on that house) and just like in my dream, she tells us that another couple had bid. They had ironically bid the same amount that I saw in the dream. Our offer was accepted, as a back up offer in case the first offer fell through. Our realtor said this wasn’t a typical sale. The people didn’t even live here. They lived far away in another state and didn’t even plan to live in this house. She encouraged us to not lose hope, because it was such an odd thing that she thought it was possible we might still get the house.
I decided to stay strong in my faith, because surely God gave me this dream and urged me to act before it was too late for a reason. Right? Our realtor called with an update on the status of things, and while I was running to the phone to answer, I accidentally dropped my glass of water. It broke on the wood floor, and my foot raked across it. The glass was so sharp that I didn’t feel the cut, but the bottom of my foot sliced open and I saw blood everywhere.
This was my first time seeing a larger amount of my own blood, and apparently I am squeamish at the sight of it. I nearly passed out. I couldn’t even look at my foot and asked mom to check it out for me. It was pretty bad and I wound up with a bandaged foot that I was unable to walk on for weeks. Unfortunately, spending a few weeks lying around waiting for my foot to heal, and putting all my weight on my right side while using crutches, caused my sciatic nerve issue to flare up.
The Summer of 2011, will be remembered as the Summer I spent almost entirely in bed, unable to walk, sit or get comfortable, due to intense pain. This was my state of being while I waited out the 30 days to see what happened with the house that I thought was supposed to be ours. The closing date came around, and the other couple still didn’t have the house. Hope! I thought for sure this was God at work. I can remember feeling relieved and excited, because we were originally told that if the house didn’t close in 30 days, it would be our turn. The realtor called to tell me they had been given a two week extension. 2 more weeks of waiting on pins and needles. In the end we lost the home and the other party won.
I’m So Confused. What is God’s Plan?
This was hard for me and a challenge to my faith. I didn’t understand God’s plan for me. I can remember getting tired of being in bed and asking Mom to help me walk outside (the pain was so bad that it was hard to walk without assistance), all the while spouting off in anger and hopelessness at God.
“Why God?! Why did this home I never thought we could have drop down to our price range? Why did you give me this dream with exact dollar amounts and an urgency to act just 2 weeks too late?! Why didn’t you give me this dream earlier? What was the point?! Why am I stuck in bed in so much pain barely able to walk in the midst of all of this?! Is this all some joke? Haven’t I endured enough up until this point? Do you really care about me? Is there really a plan for my future?!”
It just made no sense to me. This house sat on the market for 2 years without a single offer. What are the odds that I have this dream where I am urged to act, and I do, and it turns out that after 2 years, someone from another state comes and makes an offer just a week or two before we did. I couldn’t understand why God would lead me to act a week or two too late. Even harder to understand was that unlike us, this couple did not need a home and did not plan to live there. They were turning it in to some sort of rental place for college students, which is unusual for our neighborhood.
Why would God put me through all of this? I went from not thinking this was even possible, to thinking it was quite probable. I had allowed myself to dream about my future. I had started to plan things out in my head. I put my fears aside to go after what I wanted with my faith turned all the way on, and it didn’t happen. It felt like having something delicious dangled in front of you, and then snatched away. None of it made sense to me. I couldn’t understand God’s plan.
It would be 2 more years of disappointment and patiently waiting before I found out what God really had in store for me…
* Stay tuned for the next installment where I start to see God’s plan for me revealed!